...Wishing you all a good End of Summer ...
Samhain

the final harvest done, bring in what you have collected,
stop your hunting drive for the months to come..
a time of rest, reflection and enjoyment of the fruits you have gained
elves, pumpkins, fire, the night and the blood of a plum.

set a place for your dead at your table tonight,
tell me tales of your ancestors and i will tell you about mine
slaughter that which you think will not make it through the winter
transform it into what will feed and nourish you, make it your shrine

let's extinguish our individual fires and come together in one
take a light from our common fire and relight your hearth
bond me to you and you to me
walking hand-in-hand, purify me

throw apples and nuts into the air high,
show me where they land
who will be my Lover, my Spouse?
how many children will descend in me from the sky?
tell me tonight, tonight i can understand.

run after the crows my child, show me in which direction they flew
Divine for me, tell me please - what will be new?

what to strive for in life..
Arundhati Roy, excerpt from her Come-September speech
thanks for pointing me to it Redz.

"The only dream worth having [...]is to dream that you will live while you're alive and die only when you're dead. [...]



"To love. To be loved. To never forget your own insignificance. To never get used to the unspeakable violence and the vulgar disparity of life around you. To seek joy in the saddest places. To pursue beauty to its lair. To never simplify what is complicated or complicate what is simple. To respect strength, never power. Above all, to watch. To try and understand. To never look away. And never, never, to forget."

i just can't shake these words off me, they're not mine,
but how i wish they were, they speak for my soul, which i hear speak far too little.

Lay your head where my heart used to be
Hold the earth above me
Lay down in the green grass
Remember when you loved me

Come closer don't be shy
Stand beneath a rainy sky
The moon is over the rise
Think of me as a train goes by

Clear the thistles and brambles
Whistle 'Didn't He Ramble'
Now there's a bubble of me
And it's floating in thee

Stand in the shade of me
Things are now made of me
The weather vane will say...
It smells like rain today

God took the stars and he tossed 'em
Can't tell the birds from the blossoms
You'll never be free of me
He'll make a tree from me

Don't say good bye to me
Describe the sky to me
And if the sky falls, mark my words
We'll catch mocking birds

Lay your head where my heart used to be
Hold the earth above me
Lay down in the green grass
Remember when you loved me

Laat zien wat er in jouw hart omgaat en verberg het niet, opdat ik kan laten zien wat er in mijn hart omgaat en kan zien waartoe ik in staat ben

(Roemi)

6.47pm the birds are back. they fly in swarms over my skylight windows, temporarily painting the sky black, letting streaks of evening grey through.
6.54pm their collective chatter is comforting and familiar. i am happy my background soundscape is filled again with nature's sounds, in overdose. drowning out the inane sounds from the television, drawing me out of my trance and into the world outside my window. a veritable conference of birds.

6.57pm the phone rings and a dear and distant friend calls to make an appointment. catch up tomorrow night, before the bass drowns out our speech and fills our spines and spirits. more familiar things to bring me back to myself.

i lie belly down on the carpet, eyes on the green turning brown outside my window. the birds are restless, jumping and twitching and chattering like there is no tomorrow. at first i thought it was hundreds, then i thought it was thousands. they own the trees. 3 trees at the most. jostled together, filling the trees with jubilant twitter, a cacophony of sound. now i think it must be a million. the trees are strong to hold them all.
children walk under the trees and vie for attention. they yell and squeal. the birds reduce their decibel for a moment as if to listen. the children walk on, the birds resume their boisterous conference.
how many more days until they leave my trees again. where will they go? back to familiar lands for the winter?
where am i going.
back into familiar things, familiar friends, familiar sounds, familiar chatter - will do very nicely for now.

Come you lost Atoms to your Centre draw,
And be the Eternal Mirror that you saw:
Rays that have wander'd into Darkness wide
Return and back into your Sun subside

The Bean, late Sept 2007, Roma
and Pip and Dom and the Vatican and our voices.. fascinating stuff. for those who care.
taken with mobile vlogging tools, during 2.5 hours post-conference visitation opportunity
Thanks Pip, Dom & Bean! Much love, xxx

Especially Bean the Phone Eater - sorry Pip, not YouTube, hope Blip.tv is good enough.. ;)
or view the smaller, less vague, phone version (loads Quicktime)

Pip, Dom & the Vatican, anyone?
phone version

and this one is for you ilan, up close and personal, as you hadn't seen any pics yet. Will video do nicely?
phone version

Always good to see Lucie
PICT0002, originally uploaded by NynkeKruiderink.

Acte de Presence @ Web2forDev
PICT0020, originally uploaded by NynkeKruiderink.

Acte de Presence @ Web2forDev
PICT0012, originally uploaded by NynkeKruiderink.

greetings from the Web2forDev conference in Rome.
IICD colleagues and I are here, and its difficult to find some time to blog in between the various sessions.. The pre-conference training day yesterday went down well. It was a collaboration between itrainonline partner organisations (APC and IICD) for the conference, and Karel and I did most of the pulling together of the resource people and ideas over the last frantic weeks. There are two posts on the Web2forDev blog about yesterday which you may be interested in checking out: http://blog.web2fordev.net/2007/09/25/vox-pops-from-web2fordev-on-day-zero/ and http://blog.web2fordev.net/2007/09/25/first-feedback-from-the-pre-conference-web20tasterday/
For some visual impressions of the Web2.0 Taster Training Day, have a look at the Flickr pics, and search using the tag 'Web2forDev'
But essentially most talks and dicussions going on here at the conference adress the issue of building capacity in the use and appropriation of Participatory Web tools. Many speakers have mentioned it, and many opinions differ on what is the right approach. Is there any point in skills training Web2 tools? Should people learn by playing around and having fun? (What is the role of Facebook in getting people into Web2 mode and mood..?) Does access come before capacity support for using the tools? Or should people be made aware of the tools through seminars for example before they even have access (stimulate demand)? If you do decide to train on web2 tools, what are appropriate forms and methods to employ? Do you demo step by step or do you let people explore and experiment and you act as a support and guide? These and many more questions regarding capacity building are coming up, and I am triggered to go and ask more speakers and participants with experiences about their views. I'd like to do short video interviews, but hey, where's our itrainers community vodcast space on www.blip.tv or www.youtube.com? ;)
For a webcast of today's presentations and speakers, go to http://www.fao.org/webcast/
There is a lowbandwidth version, so i hope its viewable for all of you that want to watch it. And hey - if anyone has questions on Web2forDev, especially regarding Capacity Building around Web2.0 tools, that you want me to ask people around here, do let mes know!
That's it for now, Ciao de Roma, saskia

Cookiemonster: Hot or Not?
Sasje: Shit. Godverdomme. Alweer jij!
Cookiemonster: Toe nou.. Hot or Not? Kijk goed en geef je mening.
Sasje: Lekker belangrijk. Wie heeft daar nou in hemelsnaam tijd of ruimte voor? Waar gaat dit over. Wat een platheid. Vervolg me niet. Laat me met rust.
Cookiemonster: Je roept me zelf op..!
Sasje: Je zit in mn rugzak. Je gaat overall met me mee. Ben ik dan schuldig voor wat jij me bied?
Cookiemonster: Wil je zien wat ik nog zo te bieden heb?
Sasje: Nee. Laat me je gestolen goederen niet zien... Jij steelt en ik raak onherroepelijk kwijt.
Cookimonster: Toe nou, er zitten nog meer lekkere dingen in mijn cookie jar..
Sasje: Nee... ajb, ik wordt ziek hiervan. Ik wil het niet weten.. Of toch...? Nou vooruit, laat zien dan. Geef me een paar waarheids cookies. Bittere koekjes. Moeilijk te slikken.
Leuk is anders.

Speaking out on your Status - Mildred is honoured by the Nation
One more thing to share, before all else takes over again
- when i first came to Zambia in 2002, a journalist for the Times of Zambia covered our work. A lovely young woman called Mildred Mpundu. Young and dynamic, a keen and thoughtful writer, in this nation where journalism generally suffers from superficiality and sensationalism.
Over the next few trips she was seen less and less, no longer directly involved with our work, but occassionally writing for the ICT4Development knowledge sharing network that the organisation i work for supports here. In 2004 I was again in direct contact, when she put forward a women's self helf group from her hometown of Kalomo as deserving of a chance to learn how to use ICTs to support their good work. The women called their project The Kalomo Bwacha ICT Club, where 'bwacha' means something akin to 'Coming out of the darkness into the light', and the title predates but reminds me strongly of the Number 1 Ladies Detective Agency books coming situated in Botswana, just south of Kalomo. When the Kalomo Bwacha women were in Lusaka to attend the kick-off training for the project, Mildred invited the women and Gareth and I to her house, where we sat around a fire basket, listening to the elderly women tell stories, laughter and fire in their eyes. Mildred mentioned that she had had to move to a smaller house, that she was having difficulties in paying for her rent and caring for her daughter, but not much more was said on the subject. It was a memorable evening, and i am honoured that i was invited to be a part of it. More on the project.
Since then I hadnt heard much about Mildred, until this visit.
Yese told me that she had spoken out about her HIV/AIDS status in an article in The Post recently - as a well known and well respected journalist, her outspokenness caused many waves, Zambia's first president went to visit her, many newspapers reported on her, and many people are touched by the attention and her honesty. After writing about HIV/AIDS and working on many HIV/AIDS programmes and campaigs for years, she never had herself tested until early this year and found her and her daughter HIV/AIDS positive. Yese recounted the recent media attention with tears in his eyes, maybe her message will make a difference: if I could live life again, I would listen to the good advice people gave me.

When you google Mildred now, you find her writing and referenced all over the place, see HIV/AIDS stigma and support groups , Corruption in Zambia
Truly an inspiring woman.

A quick mind-scape from the hotelroom..
I spent a relaxing day offline on a plot of land in the bush surrounding Lusaka yesterday, playing with dogs, bouncing on a trampoline with two young boys who have recently moved with their parents from the Lusaka residential areas to the wild and wonderful bush, chatting and playing camera woman/waitress to friends who were planning and plotting away on the cement slab where a few months from now their very own house will be stand tall and proud, for an entire day not talking about ICTs for Development (ok apart from that session with Rachel in the kitchen when she asked me that much-feared question for which i never seem to have a short answer 'how are your projects developing in zambia?'.., stopping to have a good look at the their own community of Guinea fowl, all spotted and lovely, chattering away in their little habitat complete with improvised waterfall (leaking water tank), fallen tree trunks, lookout hill and more, causing me to think of them as in animation style movies with pronounced personalities, pecking order, dramatic interrelationships and lots of adventure within their little microcosm, feeling sorry for Molly the beautiful black Labrador who got spat in the eye by a spitting cobra (and allegedly killed it by ripping it in two! go girl), racing the boys across the plot with unfair but exhilarating advantage (me on a quad, them on their bmx'es..), watching the sun set in its dark red and purple hues over the horizon of trees, surrounded by the glow of fires across the farm land, set alight by villagers getting the land ready towards the end of dry season for the next cycle of planting ...
I was happy yesterday that i didnt have my camera with me, that my mobile phone that has a camera was out of battery, and that i was walking around unburdened by technology and the desire to capture every little thing around me in digital format. But now, when i recall all these images in my mind, i wish i had had something with me none the less, just a few shots, just a few impressions of what i saw yesterday that felt so normal, but what today I again realise is special and extraordinary for many of us.
oh well. sowwy.
:)

before we drove out to the plot, Gareth and I went past the Chikumbuso project in Ngombe compound - unfortunately the women who run it weren't there - it was Sunday morning and all were in Church - and the school wasn't open, but i nevertheless got a good sense of what the project does. Esther was there and showed me some of the bags that the grandmothers weave from plastic bags from supermarkets, amazingly sturdy creative bags, for your grocery shopping or for your notebook, pen and mobile phone - yes, complete with little mobile phone pocket inside!
The terrain used to host a bar with a brothel behind it, and man, the place must have been dismal. Tiny little shacks behind the bar in a cramped back alley, one next to the other, tiny little cement rooms with wooden beds - it must have been a filthy, disease-ridden, nasty place, with women selling their sexual services to drunk and dirty men - just the thought of it made me nauseous and ill at ease.
And to now see it as a community centre, a school, a playground, an home to orphans and single mothers, and a means for grandmothers to come together and generate income for themselves and their orphaned grandchildren - i tell you, it does something to you. If you have a young daughter who wants to take a year off and do some volunteer work, these are the kinds of projects that we need to send them to. If we do some advertising or importing and selling of handicrafts from Africa with a charitable story behind them, these are the projects we need to bring forward.

All in all, a very lovely and inspiring day.
The mental-emotional fog that had me chained to darker moods since leaving Holland had lifted after breaking the contact/no contact rule, and i was able to fill freed-up mental space with the details of the day and surroundings at hand. Finally back in the Here and Now. Phew. It felt good.

Then today is a whole other story. Meetings to make decisions with senior figure of Zambian health institutions, i was pleased and inspired to meet with such dedicated and strong leadership; over lunch learning about encryption technologies and forging ways to support a nascent open source developers community; in the afternoon being sucked into the final preparations for the Web2forDevelopment conference which is quickly approaching - sucked in never to reappear. The Here and Now completely lost to the Very-Far-Away and Soon, with all the frustrations of sustained lack of access to work mail and ever-growing follow-up and preparatory task lists drowning out the immediate contact and surroundings..

... today's african sunset i did not witness, but it's all good.

“Out beyond ideas of wrongdoing and rightdoing, there is a field.
I will meet you there."

~ Jalal ad-Din Rumi

Ik ben verdietig.
Ik mis je.
Ik weet niet wat ik ermee moet.
Ik ben in de war. Vooral verdrietig.
Ik mis je.
Ik ben eerlijk.

From the Floris Series: Floris Finds the Roots 'n Culture

this video is long overdue to be posted - another convert :)
Thanks for the good time and positive vibes
x

Beautiful Luangwa
My friend Gareth's brother Patrick is another one of those talents that is living The Life.
For all the years I have been coming to Zambia, I have been told about the incredible beauty of the Luangwa Valley. For the same amount of years I have been wanting, yearning to go. But havent yet made it.
Recently plans came up for 'Loosje the Longboard Lion' and me to save money, lots of it, and make our way to Zambia together and finally into the valley and its camps. The dream remains with me.
Patrick's blog showing what he encounters almost daily, seen through his lense and craft, has only reinforced this desire. Longing. Yearning.
Apparently going Jan, Feb, March of next year would make staying in the camp financially feasible, no pipe-dream. Will we still have the plan? Will we make it happen?
Look, indulge, enjoy and wonder.
Beautiful Zambia. Beautiful Africa.

Contact, No contact
Does writing on my blog count?
Hoping that there's that bubble of me floating in thee.
Imposing the bubble selfishly.

Know Thyself.
These things aren't that simple I guess.
Now what, Albert E?

... musing from my flight and excerpts from hours and hours of Shantaram...

~ Khader's mafia did not deal with prostitution or pornography because both trades injure women and degrade men.
He took the moral high ground, even when all other mafia councils were cashing in on these profitable trades.

~ from the Easy Listening channel during the first leg: Neil Young, Joni Mitchell and more

~ yes, i'm sure it's true. similarly many women do things that isn't necessarily good for them. they gossip. they buy too many shoes. they bitch about other women. they care too much about what men think about them. they eat too little or eat too much. they have plastic surgery done. they identify more with their bodies than with their spirits. they...
i'm sure any 75% of a female population does one or many of the above, or many other things they are tempted to do for whatever reason when they know better than to do so.
But that isn't the population I will compare myself to to make myself feel better. Surely I do sometimes. But i try not to, it would be too easy. I identify with who I want to be. Where I want to grow to. With my Better Self, my Higher Self. That's who I want to project, that is what i want to define me. Not my Base Self. I have that. I was born with that. Yes, 75% of women or more don't intend to grow from their Base Selves, may not feel this growth as a goal in life. But why on earth would I compare myself to them? What's the good in it? Why is it even part of the discussion?

~ Beauty lies in people who shine and radiate positive constructive energy, beauty lies in people who love and care, who are true to themselves and their potential to grow.
Otherwise it is a beauty that strikes the eye rather than the heart, a beauty that sours if it isn't nourished by some goodness from within.
It's a distinction that seems to me so easy to make. Or do only women see this distinction in other women?
When beauty strikes you, which type is it? Or, which type do you want it to be?

From Shantaram again, in the words of a prophetic madman: Strong men create their own luck.

Web2forDev - Sparking a Movement?

Cross-posting from our corporate blog...
Sounds a bit promo, but the enthusiasm is real ;) Nice when you can write about your work and it comes gushing out easily. Never mind the additional workload and the pushing out of mental sight all the things that I am neglecting to do because of picking this up.
Roma.. Pippa, Dom and Beanie - Vengo!